


lost (prologue)

by theamazingkrypto



Category: Oxenfree
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Post-Canon, alex and clarissa made up ending, feat. my theories, mainly hurt/comfort, not actually a prologue to anything the title is from a track in the oxenfree soundtrack, timey-wimey bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 11:23:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11758815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theamazingkrypto/pseuds/theamazingkrypto
Summary: We're sorry,they rumble, voices tripping into each other.





	lost (prologue)

It started as a normal nightmare.

It's probably bad, that she has nightmares so often that there are ones she considers _normal_ . The ones of Michael, dying, while Alex stands there, helpless to do anything, are a common sight for her in the night.

This one is of Michael drowning, specifically. The day he died.

 _It's okay,_ her conscious mind thinks rationally. _I can handle this._

Her unconscious mind, on the other hand, is overwhelmed with panic.

Many had asked (screamed at her, demanded to know) what, exactly, was she thinking, but in all honesty, she probably wasn't. There was so much sheer terror and adrenaline coursing through her system that she was on auto pilot, not in control of her own body as it stumbled into the water, not caring if she couldn't carry someone 40 pounds larger and 5 inches taller, especially when she couldn't swim. (Many others didn't seem to grasp that either, so.)

The water gets up to her knees, and suddenly there's no floor. She's floating, drowning, being pulled deep into the water by the current. It takes a moment before she finds her metaphorical footing and rights herself - or at least, she _thinks_ this is right. The water is a dark murky green all around her, but she thinks she can make out the ocean floor below her.

She looks for - Michael, maybe, wondering if she'll see him getting eaten by a giant squid, when she notices a faint red glow out of the corner on her eye.

She still doesn't know how to swim, so she kind of flails closer.

"No way!" she hears her own voice shout, garbled through the water. "Everyone - _everyone_ is coming with me!"

The other Alex faces off with a possessed Clarissa, her head hanging limply to the side like a loose puppet. The shadowy figure behind her, glitching and fuzzing at the edges, is the one pulling her strings.

A memory or a -

The other Alex pulls out her radio.

Ah, an alternate timeline.

Alex all too suddenly becomes aware off the splitting pain in her skull, as her mind is being stretched across dimensions and timelines.

She cries out, pressing the palms of her heels hard against her forehead in order to ease the pain of her brain being taken apart and reassembled somewhere else molecule by molecule. She can't really tell tears from seawater, but the need to cry builds up inside her, and she sobs.

The other Alex's attention is drawn to the sound of her cries. "What the hell...?" Her hand leaves the dial, eyes wide, and The Sunken take advantage of her distracted state.

 **We're sorry,** they rumble, voices tripping into each other, sounding genuinely remorseful. An arm made of pure nuclear energy and human souls shoots out from Clarissa's shadow, burying itself in the other Alex's chest. There's no blood, but Alex can hear the sound of her lungs and heart being punctured from where she is.

The other Alex's mouth opens slightly, but no sound comes out. She crumples to the ground, and with her goes Alex's connection to this timeline.

"Oh, shit, fuck," she hears, muffled, as her consciousness snaps back into her own body. Her own timeline. It's not her own voice. " _Alex_ ."

"Go get her the um - a bucket," another voice says. A hand wipes burning liquid from the corners of her eye. She hopes it's just tears. Judging by how it feels like two molten daggers have been shoved into her eyeballs, it's probably blood. "I can - Shhh, Alex, shh," she says in response to Alex's sob of pain, soothing her other hand along her cheek, "I know, I know - I've got her."

The other person - who Alex identifies as Clarissa, as the rest of her brain plays catch up and snaps back into place in this timeline - makes a noise of agreement. She stumbles out of bed, sleep groggy, cussing as her shin slams into a chair.

"Oh, Alex, oh, _Alex_ ," Nona whispers. She does her best to dab the sweat off of Alex's forehead with her sleeve. She sounds so concerned - looks it too; brows pinched, hands shaking, tears starting to well up in her eyes.

Alex wants to tell her that she's fine, she - she _will_ be fine, eventually, but when she opens her mouth all that comes is blood. She can taste it, in her throat, and she can't - she can't quite _breathe_ . She panics, kicking her limbs out wildly.  
Nona's eyes widen. "Bucket, _now_!"

"I-I'm _getting_ \- Here!" Clarissa rushes over, bucket in hand. Nona helps Alex onto her side, in order to unload all of her stomach's contents into the bucket instead of their newly washed sheets. She can't tell whose hand is in her hair or whose soothing voice is in or ear, but it helps either way.

When she's finally finished vomiting, Nona helps her onto her back. She drags in deep breaths, choking at the disgusting taste of bile in her mouth.

Clarissa jerks forward with the bucket, but Alex waves her off. "It's just," she pauses a moment to breathe, fighting off tears, "the taste." She nods and sets it down for the moment.

Nona reaches for the box of tissues on the nightstand, wetting one in one of their cups of water from last night. She wipes the blood and bile and chunks away from Alex's mouth and chin, whispering "No problem," to Alex's out of breath "Thanks."

"Was it," Clarissa says, "was it the past, or an alternate timeline?"

Alex presses the heel of her palm into her forehead. Nona tosses the dirtied tissue in the bucket. "Alternate timeline," she says. Nona takes her hand, and Alex holds it against her chest with clammy fingers. "You killed me. Er, I got me - _that_ Alex - killed. I, I died."

Clarissa's eyes widen and she looks away, folding her arms and drawing in on herself. Nona tries to reach out for her, but she takes a step away, hunching her shoulders. She frowns.

Alex has her eyes shut tight, massaging the bridge of her nose. "I don't think I've ever, like, _died_ before," she says. "Not on the island. Not while I was there. And I could _feel_ it, y'know? When they killed me. Dying isn't fun."

That hangs in the air for a moment. "Are you up to a shower?" Nona asks.

It takes all of Alex's energy to shake her head. "I don't really feel like getting up for the next hundred years," she admits. "Can I brush my teeth, though?"

The two of them nod. "Of course," Clarissa says, and leaves for their (tiny, much too small for three people, they all agree) bathroom.

Nona fiddles with the collar of Alex's shirt. "I think you got a little-" She grabs a tissue and wipes at the stain, not sure if it's blood or drool or vomit or a mixture of all three.

Alex wrinkles her nose. "Gross."

"Here. Let me-" Nona helps Alex out of the shirt. The choked whimper of pain she lets out as she sits up makes Nona's heart ache. There isn't much the two of them - Nona and Clarissa - can do about these - well, not really nightmares. Inter-dimensional travels?Alex's mind slipping through the cracks of time and space while her body stays here?

 _Whatever_ they are, there isn't anything anyone can do about them. There isn't any shot or prescription or therapy, and it kills them every time Alex wakes up crying blood.

Alex balls up the shirt and tosses it at the laundry hamper. It lands a foot in front of it. "Nailed it," she mumbles, laying back down.

"Not so fast," Clarissa says, just before Alex's back hits the mattress. "Here." She's already squirted some toothpaste onto the brush.

Alex takes it. There's a glazed over look to her eyes as she stares straight ahead at the wall, and Nona wholly believes that she doesn't notice the toothpaste dripping down her chin. She and Clarissa share a look over the top of her head.

"Alright." Clarissa delicately wraps her fingers around Alex's wrist. She blinks and stills her robotic movements. Clarissa holds a cup under her chin. "Here."

Nona doesn't even want to know what Alex's spit looks like. Clarissa sets the cup aside. Between that and the literal bucket of vomit beside the bed, the room feels entirely _unsanitary_ . Goose flesh raises on Alex's arms and she feels like throwing up her guts again.

Nona volunteers. "I'll clean this - those," she says, rolling off the bed. She picks up the bucket - face scrunching up at the odor - and the cup. "You guys can just...chill, I guess."

Clarissa shrugs. "Whatever Alex needs."

Alex finally reclines onto the pillows. Her chest still rises and falls erratically. "I'm fine with chilling," she says. "In fact, I'm - I'm not sure I'm up to anything else."

Clarissa nods. She feels Alex's forehead with the back of her head. She's burning to the touch, but, well - They know that she's sick, in some way, and there's no cure, as far as they know. The fever will be gone in the morning like it has all the other times.

  
The faucet turns on in the other room. If this were any other night, Clarissa would simply shove Alex aside and claim her rightfully owned bed space, but with Alex feeling so shitty right now, she carefully lays down on the stretch of bed beside her, curling an arm around Alex's waist and tucking the rest of her limbs against herself.

Alex, wincing, manages to roll over to face her. She grins. "Hi."

Clarissa frowns. She tucks a damp lock of blue hair behind Alex's ear. "This is happening more."

Alex's smile falls, and she ducks her head, curling into herself. "Yeah, but...I don't know how to stop it."

"Do you - This is a dumb suggestion, but - Would you want to _try_ the radio?"

Immediately, Alex shakes her head vehemently. " _No_ . No radios."

"I know. That was just - Putting that out there." Clarissa pulls herself closer to Alex, and Alex buries her face into her shoulder, breathing deeply. She still shakes in Clarissa's arms.

It's a moment before she speaks again. Clarissa strokes up and down her back, staring at the wall. "I could never..." She swallows past the lump in her throat. "I could never imagine killing you. Or, I guess, having the ghosts have me kill you, but..."

"I don't know," Alex says. "You _were_ pretty mad at me that night.”

Clarissa goes still with panic. "That - that _doesn't_ mean that I would have-!"

"I know!" Alex interrupts. "Trust me, I know. That was just...stupid thing to say. I'm sorry."

She hesitantly relaxes again. "Alright. Apology accepted." She settles her chin on top of Alex's head. "You're hair's really greasy."

"I know," Alex says. She shrugs. Her brows furrow, and she frowns. "I don't think that an Alex has died before. I mean, I know that other Alexes _have_ died, obviously, like in a car accident or suicide-" Clarissa feels a chill run down her spine "-or, god, _old age_ , but I don't remember one ever dying on the _island_ before. I wonder what it'll do to, uh, _her_ timeline. I wonder if it'll affect mine-ours, or the Prime's."

Clarissa doesn’t really understand all this time stuff. Alex honestly doesn't either. None of them do. But the best way Alex could explain it was:

She was not the original Alex. She and their timeline were created by the original Alex - nicknamed "Prime" by the Dork Queen Alex herself - trying to see what she could have done differently to get free from The Sunken. There were infinite timelines, and infinite Clarissas and Nonas and Rens and Jonases, but the Alexes was the only one doomed loop the night over and over again. All the others were able to move on with their lives.

They were in a timeline where they went back for Alex and saved her from The Sunken. Alex is more or less the convergence point for other timelines, and her nightmares are those timelines bouncing around her head. At least, as far as Alex understands.

  
Clarissa's been thinking it over too long, obviously, as Alex's breathing has evened out slightly. "Are you falling asleep?" she asks, smile infecting her voice.

"No," Alex mumbles sleepily.

Nona comes in, treading quietly. "Ack. Next time, you're cleaning the vomit bucket," she says, though all of them grow somber at the mention of "next time." She carefully sets three glasses of water, a box of crackers, and some Advil on the nightstand. "Whenever you need it."

"Why, thank you, Nurse Nona," Alex says.

"Anytime, Patient Alex," Nona flirts back. She climbs onto the bed. Usually, she'd force herself in between Clarissa and Alex - in order to receive all the day's first kisses - but tonight she lays down behind Alex. She splays her hand over Alex's shoulder, digging her thumb into the muscle. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Mhmm." Alex somehow simultaneously snuggles further into Clarissa and presses back into Nona's hand. "Chiropractor Clarissa was very good to me."

" _Chiropractor_ ." Clarissa snickers. "What the hell?"

"I was trying to do that thing? Where all the words start with the same letter?”

“Illiteracy?” Nona says. “Wait. No…”

“Alliteration?” Clarissa offers with a grin.

“Whatever,” Alex says. “C’mere.” She prompts Clarissa to shift forward to plant a kiss on her mouth. There's a desperate urgency to the way Alex is kissing her. They'll have to talk about how Alex feels about seeing herself die - _on the island_ \- in the morning, when Alex has the energy to sort through her feelings.

Nona whines at being left out. Clarissa rolls her eyes and leans over Alex to kiss her, too; cupping the back of her head and smiling the best she can through the worry against her mouth. They break apart when Alex yawns.

Nona rolls over to turn off the lamp before snuggling into Alex once again. The two of them fall asleep fairly quickly, because neither of them can see the faint red glow coming from behind Alex’s eyelids, illuminating the blood vessels.

**Author's Note:**

> Come chat with me about Oxenfree on tumblr [**@theamazingkrypto**](https://theamazingkrypto.tumblr.com) ****
> 
> Reviews really do mean a lot to me!


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